Required Reading for Women with Breast Cancer and Anyone Who Loves
Them
 Looking
back on her experiences, breast cancer survivor Michelle Rapkin
recalls that the impact of diagnosis is swift and powerful. "One
of the first side effects of cancer treatment begins within minutes
of being diagnosed - before surgery, radiation, or chemo. In an
instant, we go from being adults who are successfully raising families,
meeting obligations, and holding down demanding jobs to being half-naked
bodies waiting for instructions. At the very time we need to feel
that we have power and control over our lives, we feel utterly powerless.
That feeling of powerlessness is the first side effect. And it's
important to eradicate it as early as possible."
Hair
Issues for Women With Breast Cancer
By Michele Rapkin
• Since you lose 30 percent of your body heat through
your head, it's going to be cold when you go to bed. Cotton
caps designed to wear to bed are often available at wig shops
or from the American Cancer Society's "tlc" catalog.
This is also a great place to get moderately priced wigs,
wig accessories, and more tips about wearing your wig more
easily and comfortably. You can also order a wig online (www.cancer.org)
or through your local American Cancer Society office.
• If you lose all the hair on your head, then you'll
most likely lose all your hair: arm, leg, underarm, eyebrows,
eyelashes, and even pubic hair. And let's not forget the hair
inside your nose! That's why you should carry tissues form
now on, because your nose is going to start running- for months.
• Save your receipt for your wig! Ask your doctor for
a prescription for a "cranial prosthesis" and your
insurance may cover the cost. If it doesn't, the wig is tax
deductible.
• Don't worry when your hair doesn't start growing
back as soon as you expect it to; it takes a few weeks for
it to grow from the hair follicles to the top of your scalp,
where it becomes visible. Your hair will start growing back
about one half inch per month.
• Use eyeliner and eyebrow pencil and brush to "replace"
thin or missing lashes and brows. Take a close-up head shot
photo before you lose your hair so you can use it as a guide
for applying your eyebrow pencil.
• For a more realistic look when wearing your wig,
lightly brush eyebrow pencil color along your "scalp
line" before you put the wig on. It will enhance the
illusion of roots under the hair.
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In her empowering book, Any Day With Hair is a Good
Hair Day: How to Get Through CANCER and Get on with Your Life (Trust
Me, I've Been There), published by Center Street,
Rapkin shares lessons hard-learned during her odyssey of treatment
and recovery in hopes of easing the journey for women newly diagnosed
with breast cancer.
No doubt someone you love has been, or will be, diagnosed with
breast cancer. What can you say to help, and what words can wound?
Rapkin offers these suggestions for comforting your loved one.
Tried-and-True Ways to Help Your Friend
If you're reading this, then you're an important person in your
friend's life. She has just been drafted into a battle for which
she hasn't been trained. But she knows that there are some people
who will help her through this war, and you're one of them.
I fought the same war a few years ago, and I couldn't have done
it without people like you who were there for me. During that time
I realized that just as I had no instruction manual for fighting
my battle, my friends didn't have a manual to go by either.
Below are some guidelines for you as you help your friend. They're
intended to help you keep from burning out, too. After all, that's
the best way to help your friend.
**GOOD THINGS TO SAY**
• I'm sorry this is
happening to you.
• I'm thinking of and praying for you every day
• You're going to get through this, and I'll be with you along
the way.
• When you're better… (as opposed to
"if you get better…").
• Remember that you're not a statistic.
• I can only imagine how hard this must be for you to go through.
(not "I know how hard this is for you.")
• Please know that I'm here for you. Anytime you want to talk
about anything, please let me know.
• I don't know what to say, but I want you to know that I
care.
**WHAT NOT TO SAY**
• You're the last person I would have expected to get cancer.
• What's your prognosis?
• If you had to have cancer, this is the best one to get.
From the book Any Day With Hair is a Good Hair Day:
How to Get Through CANCER and Get On With Your Life (Trust Me, I've
Been There), by Michele Rapkin. Copyright (c) 2007 by Michelle
Rapkin. Reprinted by permission of Center Street, New York, NY.
All rights reserved. (www.centerstreet.com)
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